Thursday, May 20, 2010

What's It Like? - #FridayFlash

Note: Warning for gore and some violence. No exaltation of it of course, but be prepared.

What's It Like?

Everyone else was having fun. She was shaking internally, and drinking. At each filling up several eyes met, narrowing at the inconvenience. She wanted to smack off their yellow smiles.

She was finally getting anesthetized by the alcohol when the cute blondie Maria turned to her, "Say, you're Jeniffer, right?"

She nods.

"So Jeniffer, what's it like?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know..." Maria leans her head in the cutest way she knows, the way even girls fall for.

Jeniffer frowns, "I don't know what you mean."

There's a sudden silence. Maria pauses, unsure whether to press on or not; she sees her best friend's eager eyes and makes a decision; she clears her throat, "You know, to be abused."



"You want to know how it feels to be abused?" Jeniffer asks incredulous.

"Well, yeah?"

"No, you don't."

Jeniffer stands, carefully holding her cup with both hands, as well as the incoming tears. She swallows them, walks calmly to the buffet and serves herself with another beer, wishing it was something stronger. The memories are back in full swing.

Damn therapy, she thinks, it only works for their own peace of mind. It's all bullshit.

Jeniffer takes her time, hoping that the topic will be dropped. Maybe she should go home, it's not as if she's having a great time, is it?

"So?" she hears from behind.

With tensed shoulders she turns, "I beg your pardon?"

"We're waiting," Maria says, leaning back in her chair, wearing a mischievous grin.

Not a single gaze is diverted from Jeniffer's burning eyes. Most guests shift position, the hostess squeezes her boyfriend's hand searching for comfort. He doesn't squeeze back.

Jeniffer presses her lips together and refrains from crushing the plastic cup. She too makes a decision. She rests the cup on the table, gently, and circles it towards the other girl.

"You want me to tell you how it feels to have someone hurt you so badly that you're damaged for good, that you feel like, like..." She swallows, "No matter."

Jeniffer shows her teeth, pausing to see the effect it creates on her newest friends. When she reaches Maria's chair the remaining smiles are gone, including Maria's. Jeniffer wonders how's the look on her face, ugly, scary, pathetic?

From behind Maria, she leans forward putting a hand on the table and whispers in her ear, "I'll show you what it feels like."

Before anyone can react, she makes room with her left arm, grabs the scared girl by the neck, shoving her on the beer washed table and lifts her pink skirt.

This is when the audience realizes what her intention is. A broad shouldered guy stands up, jumps behind Jeniffer locking her both arms and suspending her. She throws her head back, breaking his nose. Released from his grip, she elbows him in the ribs and puts her right foot behind his left, making a lever and pushing him down by the bloody cheek.

While he grunts on the floor, she grabs a half eaten salami, puts Maria back in place, rips her panties off and touches it on her most sensitive parts.

Holding the salami there, she leans on, "Oh, don't you worry, I'm not going further with this." She smiles against Maria's choking, "Now you'll know what's it like not wanting to talk about something bad that has happened to you."

Jeniffer can't hear anything but the ringing in her ears, although she knows that all breaths are held. She releases the girl when seeing her tears flow.

"You wanted to know how it feels to be abused, as you put? Multiply this one moment by, say, a thousand, and you won't be even close to the sensation of being raped, tortured and starved for the eternity."

Jeniffer takes a deep breath and turns to the open mouthed birthday girl, "It seems I'm not a good company just yet."

To the party's bulged eyes she adds, "Maybe never?"

With a bitter smile, Jeniffer circles the table back to the far couch where she left her purse and heads for the door.

"Wait," Cathleen shouts, "you just kicked Little John's ass. I didn't know you could do that!"

Sliding the door open Jeniffer answers, "You didn't think I'd go through all that and not take self defense classes, did you? Happy birthday."

Note: The "Woman Frowning" I found here, and the artist's page is this. Pretty cool things in there. ;)


  1. Something about the wrath of a woman scorned... apparently a woman saying "Happy birthday" is also pretty harsh.

  2. Very powerful, and quite a difficult read (content, not the writing). Well done.

  3. This was very intense! And something like this is difficult to write to say the least but I got chills- well done!

  4. Former-Witch FriendMay 21, 2010 at 3:37 PM

    Congratulations - very well written indeed! Disturbing but interesting; am I sensing a pattern here?

  5. Wow, this packed a punch!

    Love how Jennifer put to rest once and for all how it "feels" to have been abused.

    And she will never be good company for those insensitive people!

    Well done, Mari-girl. You are really an excellent contributor to our #fridayflash community!

  6. --John: Yes, "Happy Birthday" can be pretty harsh when coming from a wounded woman. We can be scary too, can't we? heh

    --Sam: Thank you for persisting, and for the clarification, heh.

    There are things to be written that are pretty and entertaining, but sometimes we must write ugly stuff too. This is something I believe we must never forget of.

    Lua: Thank you! :D

    Former-Witch: You're so observative that
    sometimes you astound me! Yes, there's a pattern that I'm planning to change soon.

    There will be one more dense piece, then Randomities switches back to its usual cheerfulness. At least for a while. ;P

    Marisa: Thank you Mari-girl! You make me blush. :P

    If I were Jennifer, that's what I'd want to do with Maria, heh.

  7. Well, it was an insensitive question,but her reaction?...Wow.

    Very intense. Loved the final line. :)

  8. Oh my, now that was powerful. Great writing! I don't think anyone is going to mess with Jeniffer again!

    Good for her - she got them!!And at a birthday party of all places. Oh the rudeness of some people.

  9. --ganymeder: I understand your reaction.

    That's why I tried to make Maria so pushy and Jeniffer on the edge, as if everything was still too recent.

    Did I fail to convey that?

    I can visualize Cathleen whispering to the others, "Please be nice with this friend of mine, she has been abused."

    Frankly, I stick with Jeniffer's teaching, however extreme it is.

    Thank you for sharing your opinion! I like when people care to disagree, it makes things more interesting. ;)

    Anne: Thank you! I hope no one dares, heh.

  10. Cor, this was powerful. Nice and angry. She feels justified in doing that, and it certainly gets the message across, but an eye for an eye doesn't pay in the end.

  11. --Barry: Indeed, thank you for putting things into perspective!

    It seems I was too immersed in Jeniffer's pain viewpoint when I wrote this piece.

    However, if your wisdom (with which I agree entirely) had been in my mind, wouldn't be possible that the story came out... dull?

    I refer to Anne's last blog post here, because your comment came quite timely with the fantastic discussion being held there.

    So I ask, would this story move you, had I restrained my writing by my personal opinion and moral?

  12. Thanks for the mention and link.

    After I wrote my post I came over to read your FridayFlash and was blown away by the strong themes and courageous writing.

    You just illustrated my point about what can happen when we don't hold back and censor ourselves based on other's opinions - you can write very powerful stuff!!

  13. --Anne: Thank you!

    When writing this piece, and the next that's coming up this weekend, I had the same thoughts and doubts you shared on your post.

    Should I refrain from using bad language, or exposing ugliness because some people might dislike or feel offended by it? Am I running the risk of loosing audience because of the change in tone and content Randomities has been through this last two weeks? What should I do?

    I chose to write what my heart was asking to. I find your blog's name inspiring: Don't Fence Me In.

    We shouldn't fence ourselves in either.

  14. Mari, emotionally packed. You captured the feelings of the characters well. I've unfortunately known insensitive people like Maria.

  15. That's taking insensitivity to all new levels!
    I suspect Maria will be having some nightmares of her own...

  16. --Aidan: I was lucky enough to keep away from people this insensitive, but I've seen pretty rough behavior around.

    Thank you for confirming that Maria isn't an unreliable character, which is sad by itself, but what can we do?

    --mazz: I'm sure the experience will haunt her for a while. My best hopes are that this becomes a life changing experience, for better!

    Am I being too optimistic? heh

  17. That was really powerful! Well done!

  18. Very powerful piece, Mari. I'm glad you didn't censor this to be pc. Sometimes you have to go over the top to make your point. :)

    This was well written. Difficult stuff, well presented.

  19. --Phyl and Gracie: Thank you! :D

  20. Just saw your tweet and responding now.

    No, I think you conveyed everything perfectly. I'm not disagreeing with your portrayal of the characters or the story or anything. I think you did a wonderful job.

    When we discussed profanity and extreme situations on Twitter, I only meant that I think people tend to overdo them. Also that authors generally shouldn't restrict themselves to *only* writing dark stuff.

    Not only did you do a wonderful job, but I think you actually ended on a high note, given such dark subject matter. She can take care of herself and doesn't take crap from anyone. Good for her!

  21. Wow...awesome writing on a very hellish subject. I think she'll heal in time - she's very proactive.

  22. Wow. Just wow. Glad Jennifer stood up for herself. I was just talking with someone today how all the "reality shows" that are about different pathologies, e.g., Hoarders, OCD, are so popular because they make people feel superior, while simultaneously preventing those who need it from seeking help. I got that sense from Maria, that she felt superior at the other girl's fragility.


  23. --Cecilia: This makes much sense, and I agree. It's sad that people have to step on others to feel "happy", but it happens more often than we are aware of.

    On the other hand, I'm all giddy that I managed to convey the right message about each character, heh. :D

  24. --ganymeder: Thanks for coming back and explaining further. I do agree with you that in real life situations I, Mari, wouldn't respond so drastically to such insensitivity. But then again, I've never been victim of abuse, so who knows?

    I also agree that profanity should be used sparingly and with much caution. We're aligned on that. I thought I had a agreed with you on twitter? Maybe I didn't make myself clear back then. ;)

    As your pointed so well, I like writing dark stuff, because life isn't made only of the pretty things I share so profusely here at Randomities. However, I cannot ignore the beauty in things, which is why this blog is not single-themed. ;P

    So, light stuff - heavy stuff - light stuff it is! heh

    Finally, thank you for your praise and reassurance. I really appreciate it. :)

    --Laura: Thank you! I think she has better chances than other people, besides, I think she's darn cool, heh. ;P


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